


Up Where the Air is Clear

by LateStarter58



Series: The Loki and Theresa Stories [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 18:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16770589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LateStarter58/pseuds/LateStarter58
Summary: Against the odds, it seems that Loki and Theresa have made a baby, a little half-sibling for Lily. Knowing she wouldn’t be safe on Earth, he has taken her to Asgard, but that by no means ends their troubles…





	Up Where the Air is Clear

**Author's Note:**

> Part 4 of Loki and Theresa's story. I do not claim to be an expert on either Norse mythology or the Marvel universe. I hope purists will forgive me for putting my own particular spin on Asgard, Thor and Loki.

The light is different. That’s the first thing that strikes me every morning. It’s a golden glow, but there’s a hint of silver. Sort of a metallic sheen, if you can imagine that. _I’m definitely not in Kansas anymore._ And it’s warm, like the Italian summer I remember from a holiday when I was eleven or so. The kind of all-pervading, never-fades-even-in-the-dark kind of warmth that makes you feel happy inside.

We never got that in Essex…

As I drift into consciousness I look over at the big doors that lead out onto a massive balcony and watch the muslin curtains blow lightly in the balmy breeze. It feels like a dream still. Everything seems like a movie set, or an illustration in some fantasy graphic novel. It smells strange too. Not unpleasant; actually it’s rather nice, just unfamiliar. Exotic fruits, flowers, spices…

Asgard is not what I thought it would be like. But what did I think, really? Norway writ large? Fairy tale castles? High-tech everything? Bits of all of the above have shown up so far, but I had no real, no fully-formed or concrete expectations. It’s peculiar. Everything is full of Norse imagery, but it’s warm like the Med, and all their advanced technology is hidden under a mediaeval carapace. 

And as for me, a stranger in a strange land? I don’t know how I feel.

No. That’s a lie. I know perfectly well.

I am pretty happy. Happy to be here with him, but I am still scared. Scared for Lily, for the life I carry inside me, for myself. But also for Loki: things are not quite right here. I don’t begin to understand the politics of it all, but something is off, even I can detect it and I have only been here a few days.

I thought my life was weird a week ago… But that’s how things have been since Loki popped up unannounced in my flat over nine months back: one strange happening after another. That’s what you get for letting an alien god into your bed, I suppose. Today I face a future as uncertain as the one I had before I met him. Just _differently uncertain_.

Is it really only five days since I was in my old – comparatively normal – life?

………

_I sit at the desk in Castle Books, searching online for a customer who has asked about a specific volume which we don’t have. He wants a first-edition copy of some book about Antarctica for his son who’s a student or something, so Art has deputised me to scour the net for it. It’s hard to concentrate, but I am glad of the distraction because my thoughts are in turmoil._

_How could this have happened? And what does it mean, for me and Lily?_

_Even by the standards of my recent life, it has been a surreal day so far. Last night, after we made love, Loki dropped one hell of a bombshell. I thought I had become accustomed to all this ‘alien god’ stuff, all the so-called magic and everything. I have accepted ‘Mary’ into my home, and she has become a member of the family. Me and Lily and our practically perfect Asgardian nanny… But it seems that I have a long way to go yet._

_And much to learn._

_Last night Loki told me he thought I was pregnant; that he could detect his offspring inside me, because, in fact, he isn’t Asgardian, an Æsir like Thor and Odin, as I had reluctantly come to accept – i.e. to all intents and purposes, pretty-much-the-same-as-human (if you ignore the strength and lifespan). Oh no Theresa, waaaaaaay weirder than that: my beautiful Loki is a Jotun, a Frost Giant. Blue-skinned, red-eyed and very cold; from a frozen world that fought a war with Asgard and lost. He tells me he was war-booty: taken as an infant by Odin to use in the future as a bargaining chip. He relates how he was lied to, misled all his life until he discovered his true nature by accident and Odin finally revealed the circumstances of his birth. His face hardens when he talks about it; I assume that this must be part of what damaged him so badly. Perhaps this is what broke his heart. I wept for him. Quietly, later; alone in the bathroom. And I don’t cry, you know. Never._

_After a restless night for us both we share breakfast: Mary has not arrived this morning, so I must assume that Loki is staying with Lily today. He is feeding her in an absent-minded sort of way. She’s not bothered, and happily accepts the spoonfuls of porridge he gives her, occasionally squealing her delight._

_‘Oki!’ she exclaims. It is her newest word and she loves to say it._

_‘Say I am actually pregnant, how did it happen? I mean, how are we even, you know…compatible, in that way? Biologically, I mean.’_

_He frowns. This is clearly puzzling him too. **‘I am unsure, Theresa. I too would have thought that, on a cellular level, it could never happen. The only thing I can think is…’**_

_He trails off, his gaze unfocused._

_‘What?’_

_He turns and looks at me with such affection that I feel my heart swelling in my chest. **‘The only thing that makes any sense is that because you and I… well I think that because we love each other, life has found a way. That was one of my moth-… one of Frigga’s sayings.’** A sad, sweet smile creeps across his beautiful face. _

_I don’t know anything about alien biology, of course, but I do know the human version – that’s what I was studying before I dropped out of Uni – and it’s true that the drive to reproduce is what life is all about. So it makes a degree of sense to me._

_‘I’m going to get a pregnancy testing kit today.’ He looks at me in that curious way he has – head cocked, like a bemused dog. ‘To be sure, I mean. My cycle is so fucked-up, always has been…’_

_He nods and returns his attention to Lily, who has started to grab handfuls of porridge and throw them onto the floor. I’m afraid that Loki isn’t quite as good at child-care and housekeeping as Mary. But I want him here so much, that given the choice, I’d take him every time. Despite the mess._

_But I do miss her; she’s my best friend._

_I pop out in my lunch break and buy a kit. The woman behind the counter in Boots is nicely neutral with me. I suppose for every hopeful customer there is one who is praying for the opposite result; whichever way round. I check the instructions when I get back to the shop and realise I won’t be able to do it until the morning. It’s frustrating, but I sort of know already that it’s going to be positive. Loki seems so certain, and he’s pretty much decided what needs to be done._

_I offer to dust and tidy the shelves after lunch. I am unable to do much which requires clear thought. The idea of this pregnancy… well, if I am, what will it mean, for us all? Is it a risk – physically - to me? What then about Lil? I’m all she has… And Loki doesn’t seem happy about it either. Is that because he is worried, or does he not want children? He seems to love Lily… I try to marshal my thoughts and control them before I start to lose it completely._

_He said we have to leave; go to his home, to Asgard. Trouble is, I don’t want to. I look around at the shop, at Arthur, whistling tunelessly to himself as he sorts through a pile of books. If you’d asked me a year ago I’d have been happy to get off this tiny blue dot - hell, I’d have been shoving Richard Dreyfus out of the way to get on that ship. But now I have this good life; a better one that I have ever had._

_I get home strung out and anxious, to find Loki busy in the kitchen with Lil in her high chair, playing wooden spoon drums on my mixing-bowls. The noise is appalling but she is as happy as Larry. He has been the perfect nanny: the flat is clean and tidy, dinner is cooked, and my daughter is as content as ever. Later, Lily bathed, tucked in and snoring, we settle down together and he looks at me._

**_‘You should be making preparations, Theresa. We must leave for Asgard tomorrow.’_ **

_‘What? Tomorrow? But I don’t even know for sure…’ Mildly panicked, I stand up and start looking around. ‘What about my job? The flat?_ ’

_Loki looks at me with a confused expression. **‘But you are sure. And you know I am right.’**_

_Bloody mind-reading thing…_

_‘Yes, but…’ I am so confused; and angry and hurt at the thought of leaving Arthur and the job I’ve dreamed of all my life. But mainly I am scared._

_Now, in case you don’t know me, let me tell you I don’t scare easily. It’s true that a few things can throw me: I am a bit frightened by rodents running around the house (it’s the unpredictability), and I can’t put the light off in the bedroom if there’s a spider (in case it decides to walk on my face in the dark). But that’s pretty much it. Like most mothers, the main fear I have is of something happening to Lily, or to me; it’s just been the two of us since before she was born. I wasn’t scared of giving birth, or of raising her on my own. Lord knows, it was a better option than being with that prat of a ‘father’ of hers. And anyway, being alone in itself isn’t frightening to me; I have been alone, effectively, since the age of 18._

_But this…all of this is so unknown. So… alien._

_Yeah, yeah, I know… but having this baby. And going to a whole other world, full of people and things and places I don’t know. It’s all, frankly, terrifying._

_And then long, strong arms are enfolding me and I am pulled against his hard chest. I start to cry – which, like I said, I NEVER do (I promised myself the day Gary left that I wouldn’t waste the energy) - and once I start, I can’t stop. I feel myself being scooped up and carried to the bedroom. Soon Loki and I are lying down, and his hand is stroking my hair. He has opted to use his ‘magic’, ensuring that we are both naked, and I see that the massive bruise on his chest is fading away at an inhuman rate. I find comfort in the closeness of the skin-to-skin contact, as no doubt he meant me to. He pulls me more firmly against him and I can feel his words as much as hear them._

**_‘I must take you and Lily to Asgard. I can protect you there. It is vital for the safety of you and our child. Please be in no doubt, Theresa. I wish that I knew more about what is happening to you. In all my reading I never came across and instance when a Midgardian woman bore a Jotun’s offspring. But the Healers have much knowledge and will be able to guide us. That is one reason why we must go to Asgard.’_ **

_‘And what other reasons?’_

**_‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’_ **

_‘Didn’t that go tits up last year, after that whole Hydra malarkey?’_

**_‘It might appear so, but I think not in reality. Fury is too clever for that, and the Avengers, they are still around, are they not?’_ **

_‘I suppose. So what would S.H.I.E.L.D. do?’_

**_‘Do not think for a moment they would allow you to have my child in peace, Theresa, here on Midgard, even if it were safe for you to try. You would be taken, locked away, studied. As would the child.’_ ** _His face looks grim. **’Or worse.’**_

_Instinctively, I cross my arms over my abdomen. ‘I see. Yes, you’re probably right about that, now I think about it.’_

**_‘One reason that I never stay too long on Midgard is that I believe they are able to detect my coming and going. So I fear that tomorrow must be the day. They may have already begun to look for me and they may quickly focus on you, Theresa.’_ **

_I nod, understanding, accepting. The thought of us, and of our baby being experimented on… No. He’s right, of course he is._

_But there’s Arthur. He would look for me, wonder what had happened. He is the only one, really. Except perhaps Marian, Lily’s Health Visitor. Not much to show for 27 years on the planet, is it? Just two humans who would miss me and my daughter: my employer and a professional tasked with caring for the child’s welfare. Like I said before, I was – pre-Loki - a failure of epic proportions. Well, at least now that isolation of mine is an advantage._

_‘I need to write a letter for Arthur. So he doesn’t start a police hunt for me and Lil.’_

_Loki shrugged. **‘If you wish. But the Midgardian authorities will not be able find you.’**_

_‘No. But others might hear we have disappeared, and then…’_

_He looked thoughtful. **‘Yes, that is a risk I had not considered. You are wise, Theresa.** ’ He paused, looking at me in that piercing way he has. When he does it, I feel I am being assessed. I can never decide if I pass whatever test he is applying. **‘You cannot tell Arthur where you are going. You know that?’**_

_I pull an impatient face. ‘Of course not! I might - might be pregnant, but I’m not a complete idiot! I thought I’d tell him my mysterious boyfriend is whisking me away to whatever exotic place it is he comes from… That way I won’t be lying to him, not technically.’ I find some small comfort in that thought._

_We fall asleep in each other’s arms; for the first time since I’ve known him, Loki and I spend a night together without having sex. Well, they do say pregnancy can change a relationship…_

_I wake up to the sound of my alarm, and for a split-second I forget that today isn’t going to be a normal Friday. Or a normal any day._

………

Lying here, in this strange light, in this strange place is OK, even though I am afraid, because I have what I care about most near to me. Lily is in the room next door. ‘Mary Poppins’ is back, doing what she used to do on Ear-, on _Midgard_ I have to call it now. Lily is content. And lying beside me, caressing me gently is my King: my Loki.

The light here makes him even more beautiful: it gives his pale skin a shimmer which enhances it. He seems even more regal – I would have doubted that were possible – and he is held in respect by everyone I see. But I don’t see very many people: just the servants and guards, and a charming bloke called Fandral who is sweet and funny. He has blonde hair and a waxed moustache and wears the most flashy clothes… he and Lily have bonded already. He comes to see Loki and speaks to him quietly, out of my hearing usually. I assume it is about ‘matters of state’, as Loki calls them. Their faces are often troubled, and I wonder why we are being kept a secret.

Loki is not telling me everything. Lily and I have not left this suite of rooms yet.

But for today I have other things on my mind. In the night I felt the baby move, and with the sensation came a return of that terrible inner cold. It was brief, but much, much more pronounced. I began to shiver violently and Loki made a great fire blaze up in the room to warm me. I could see the heat made him uncomfortable, but none the less he stayed with me, holding the furs and blankets around my body until the chills passed.

So this morning I am going to see the Healers.

………

_Friday morning has come, bright spring sunshine lifting everyone’s spirits. Except mine. I feel such a deep, gnawing sadness that I almost start crying again. That won’t do. I can’t turn up in Asgard a blubbering wreck._

_I write my letters – for Arthur and one for the landlord so the flat can be re-let - and use the last two stamps I have. I run to the corner to post them before I change my mind. When I get back to the flat I am shaking, and find that in my absence Loki has packed everything we are taking. He must have used his powers: I was gone three minutes, tops. Mary is back, no doubt to help with the move. She smiles benevolently at me._

_‘So,’ I ask, looking around the dull, plain box that we have called home for the last two years, ‘how does this work? Does a ship come down and collect you?’_

**_‘No. You recall the portal that was opened over New York?’_ ** _I nod. Nice use of the passive, Lokes._

**_‘Well, that is similar to the way we will travel. Heimdall will open a passage from Asgard on my command. It is called the Bifrost.’_ **

_The word sounds vaguely familiar, and then I recall reading about it in the books I studied in the winter about Norse myth. ‘The Rainbow Bridge, you mean?’_

_He smiles. Looks like this test is one I passed. **‘That is correct, Theresa.’**_

_‘So, where will that happen? At this end, I mean?’_

**_‘I have found a place out on the marshes, away from people and buildings. So there will be no disturbance. I have used it every time I have come this way.’_ **

_Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. I did the test. I passed that one too. Two blue lines for a blue baby._

_An hour later all four of us are in a taxi driving out towards the Essex coast. On Loki’s instructions, the driver drops us and all of our luggage at the end of a track which leads nowhere. I worry that he will talk about this strange fare, but Loki seems to do something to him. ‘ **The man will not speak of it. He has already forgotten us,’** he says as the car disappears back towards the road. _

_I take a last look at my planet, hitch Lily higher on my hip and hold tight onto Loki as he raises his head and calls out: ‘ **Heimdall! Open the Bifrost.’**_

**…….**

I am extremely worried about seeing the Healers. Loki knows this, naturally – he knows everything – and I feel him pull me closer to him as we lie in our morning bed. His long fingers ghost over the swell of my belly. It was never flat, but there is a distinct if small rise now; this child is developing quickly. But Loki’s hand doesn’t linger. It keeps moving, just brushing the skin here and there, tracing the rise of my hip, and then cooling my side as it travels up to make goosebumps rise on my breast.

_‘My Theresa. My queen,’_ he murmurs. He’s started calling me that. I laugh every time, but my stomach does a funny little thing too. Am I a queen? We aren’t married, as far as I know. Unless he did something when I was asleep… No, I think it’s just a term of endearment. I mean, he talks funny, doesn’t he? I soon stop my semantic musing as those cool fingers grasp my nipple and pinch. I gasp, because it hurts: tender tits. The joys of pregnancy.

_‘Did I hurt you, my love?’_

I smile. Is this the same god who promised me he would fuck me so well I would be spoiled for mortal men? ‘It’s alright. My boobs are a bit sore. Side–effect of being in the club.’

_‘The club?’_

‘Pregnant. Sorry. Slang.’

It seems he decides to prevent any more misunderstandings by turning me onto my back and kissing me on the mouth. There is a sort of desperation in him this morning, I feel it. He might be the mind reader, but I love him and living together these past few days I have come to recognise his moods. He isn’t good at hiding his feelings, ‘God of Lies’ or not; not from me anyway. But I need this now as much as he does, and I grasp a handful of his hair as he begins to kiss his way down my body.

‘You know, you really need to cut this. It’s getting straggly.’

He pauses and looks up at me from just above my navel. His breath is hot, unlike the rest of him and the feel of it on my skin is making me squirm.

_‘You want me to cut my hair, Theresa?’_

‘Oh god yes! I hate long hair on men. I’m not keen on it even on you.’

He looks at me steadily for a moment. Oh dear. Is there some cultural taboo about hair cutting? Is it some royal tradition or something? He seems calm, but I wonder if I have made some terrible tourist _faux pas._

_‘As you wish.’_

I let out a sigh of relief which is cut short by Loki’s tongue on my clit. I feel him smile against me as I buck and writhe. Soon I forget all about hair and healers and pregnancy as the Silver Tongue of Norse myth drives me into a frenzy. He seems to be able to find the edge of my orgasm and keep me there, teetering until I am almost insane with desperation. It is a very effective form of distraction, and it works perfectly until I come back to myself after he finally relents. Whether it is the change in blood flow or the movement or the emotions, I don’t know, but it seems to disturb the baby.

A great wave of icy cold flows through me as I feel the fluttering movement of tiny limbs. I gasp and shudder, and Loki looks worried. Without warning, he scoops me up and carries me out of the room. Both of us still naked, he more or less runs through what feels like an endless series of identical corridors, the guards clattering along behind us. I am dimly aware of a change in the wall colour and shape of the ceilings, but mainly I am focused on not shivering so much that he drops me. I have never been so cold in my life.

I feel my eyes closing and sleep is the best idea I have ever had. I let myself go, until I hear his voice from a long way off.

_‘We are here, my love. They will help you.’_ There is a tension in his voice I have never heard before.

I open my eyes. I am on a table, and above me the air is full of orange lights, shifting and moving. I can see a high ceiling beyond them. I hear murmurs and looking to one side I see several women. The Healers, I assume. I am warm again, except for the very core of me – my uterus, no doubt – which I visualise as a lump of ice. Why is this happening? Why is it intermittent? Is it going to get worse? I can’t go for six months freezing my arse off half the time!

I begin to hear fragments of conversation: _… Jotun blood incompatible…the foetus needs… not sustainable… maternal metabolic rate…_ I look around for Loki. He is at my feet, watching the women, his hand reaching to touch my toes when he sees I am awake.

_‘Theresa. All is well.’_

‘No it isn’t! I’m not deaf!’ I am shouting and all eyes turn to me. ‘I am here. I am an adult. Talk to me, not about me!’ My heart is pounding, my hands are fists. This has taken me back to a frightening day in my last pregnancy when the medics discussed me as if I wasn’t there. I was pissed off then, and I am pissed off and even more scared today: a deadly combination.

‘You should calm yourself, my dear. We are just discussing your situation, pooling our knowledge.’ The woman, presumably the one in charge, has a soothing bedside manner, but it only enrages me more.

‘No. Either talk _to_ me or I leave. Now.’ I start to sit up, but my limbs are made of lead. Trying to get upright sets the baby off again, and chill leaks down my limbs as if I had plunged into a frozen pond. I fall back, defeated. Loki is at my side instantly. I hear his voice from that distant place again.

_‘Help her now!’_ I feel warmth envelop me. There is a flurry of activity. Loki stays by my head, speaking softly. _‘All will be well, my love. Calm yourself and let them use their skills.’_ I smile at him. His eyes are soft but his mouth is tight with tension.

Time passes. I drift in and out of consciousness, I think. The Healers keep my temperature on an even keel, but that chill at my core remains. It aches: it’s as if I have ice cubes in my vagina. Eventually the talking and activity stops and the head woman turns to speak to us, the happy parents.

‘My King, we have not encountered this before. We have checked the archives, but there is no record of a Jotun-Migardian hybrid.’

Ah. Right. Good: I am unique. I always wanted to be a pioneer.

‘As far as we can see, there is some discordance between mother and foetus. Not just the temperature, but in the blood and other fluids. So far, the placenta seems to be working well, but we cannot say how things will go as the child grows.’ She paused. ‘Theresa,’ I felt Loki stiffen at this, ‘I beg your pardon, _Madam,_ ’ she continued, chastened, ‘we fear that these chills will continue. I think you must prepare yourself for a difficult time.’

Loki opens his mouth to say something when there is a commotion from behind me and I hear a door banging. The Healers melt into the walls as loud footsteps cross the room.

_‘Loki!’ A great deep roaring voice fills the air. ‘Who is this woman? Why is she in Asgard? What is the meaning of this?’_


End file.
